Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Deuce And The Royal Wedding

Prince William, grandson of Britain's current monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, is getting hitched this Friday. The bride to be is commoner Catherine Middleton.

Who cares? Depends on who you ask. CBS says interest is 'stoked' in the U.S., while the New York Times says it's a
'yawner'. In any event, all the major TV networks in the U.S. will be covering the wedding live, beginning at four A.M. EDT. It would take the second coming to get me up at that hour. On the other hand, I could be induced to stay up till then if the party was rockin'.

You can guess who cares. Women. 58% of American women are 'very or somewhat interested, or following news of the wedding.' Meanwhile, fully 50% of American men are not following the coming nuptials at all. Big surprise, I know.

For centuries men have not cared about the nuts and bolts of their own weddings, much less someone elses. Men say, 'Do we really have to go through this? Just tell me when and where', while women famously obsess about the minutest details, giving birth to the reality show Bridezillas, where perfectly normal looking women have multiple psychotic breakdowns because their centerpieces don't coordinate with the color of the tile in the ladies room. It drives would-be grooms to drink, often right up to the minute they step to the alter, and brings the sanity of brides into serious doubt.

The Deuce, surprisingly, is 'somewhat' interested in the royal wedding. Why, you ask? Well, first of all it's being held in Westminster Abbey, one of the most historical buildings in western civilization. Established in 1065, Westminster Abbey has been the sight of royal coronations and weddings, and the funerals and burial place of England's most iconic people, including Geoffrey Chaucer, Issac Newton and Charles Darwin.

If you care at all about history a chance to see Westminster Abbey is not to be missed.

Secondly, the Deuce loves military pomp. Royal weddings bring out the Scots Guards who escort the royal couple to Westminster Abbey, marching in their famous red coats and bear skin hats. Being an old Army guy, I admire military precision in marching and the Scots Guards marching is a hell of a show.

And there's bagpipes! Tradition says the bagpipe was invented by lonely soldiers far from home who missed the high pitched squeals, squawks and grating chords of their wive's voices.

The rest of the wedding hoopla can go begging as far as I'm concerned. Don't care about the ring, the gown or the guests and where they sit, although it's interesting that Obama wasn't invited. I guess Obama returning that bust of Winston Churchill to Queen Elizabeth didn't go over too well. However, with William's younger brother Prince Harry in charge of the reception, that could be entertaining. Harry likes to party. Don't think the reception will be televised. Too bad.

Maybe Sports Center will have some highlights I can watch.

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