Monday, December 28, 2009

Predictions for 2010

By Mr. Quarter

I feel especially endowed with clairvoyant powers after the holidays have passed. So, heretofore on an annual basis Mr. Quarter's Corner will include my list of predictions of events, conditions and what-not for the coming year. Listed below are my predictions for 2010.

  1. The consensus on "climate change" will become that the climate is indeed changing. Anthropogenic causes of climate change will be considered insignificant.
  2. Inflation will reach over 7% by year end as reflected in the CPI
  3. US unemployment will remain greater than 8% for all of 2010.
  4. The US dollar will trade at 1.6 per Euro before the end of 2010.
  5. The yield on 3 year US Treasuries will drift upward reaching at least 3.0% during 2010.
  6. U.S. GDP growth will hover at 2% or less for all of 2010.
  7. A popular revolt will unseat the Islamic clerical government of Iran, however the military will remain in charge.
  8. Israel will launch a major strike at Iranian nuclear facilities.
  9. The price of oil will spike over $100/bbl.
  10. Hugo Chavez will launch a war of opportunity against Columbia. He will loose.
  11. Kim Jong Il will die of natural causes, sparking a power struggle between supporters of his chosen dynastic successor and the military in North Korea.
  12. Afghanistan will stabilize with fewer and fewer insurgent attacks. The focus of the Taliban action will shift to Pakistan tribal areas with insurgent bombing attacks increasing in tempo across the entire nation.
  13. China will steadily reduce its purchases of US debt. By the end of 2010, China will be a net seller of US debt.
  14. The Democrats in Congress will begin to re-brand themselves as deficit hawks. Proposals for a Value Added Tax will be introduced. A VAT of 3%-5% will come close to being enacted before the end of 2010.
  15. The Republicans in Congress will propose and pass a balanced budget amendment to the US Constitution in 2010. It will go out to the states for ratification.
  16. The 2010 elections will be a blood bath for the Democratic party. They will loose 8 seats in the Senate and more than 40 seats in the House. Health care reform, jobs, and the national debt will be the dominant issues.
  17. Growing and possession of small amounts of marijuana for personal use will be legalized in 4 states after paying a tax or purchasing a permit.
  18. Harry Reid will be defeated in Nevada.
  19. Arlen Spector will be defeated in a landslide in Pennsylvania. He will retire in ignominy for his foolish party switch.
  20. Obama will attempt to pivot to the center, however his approval ratings will not improve and will continue to drop in the the 20% range.
  21. Nancy Pelosi will loose her post as Speaker of the House after the 2010 elections (no matter the outcome) if not sooner.
  22. Janet Napolitano will be sacked from the Obama Administration.
  23. Rahm Emanuel will be sacked from the Obama Administration.
  24. Paris Hilton will get knocked up and decide to have the baby.
  25. Sarah Palin will not declare candidacy for office, but will become the defacto leader of the Tea Party Movement. The Tea Party Movement will not result in a 3rd party but will have strong influence on Republican Party candidates and policies.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Deuce and Tiger

Dear Tiger,

You don't know me, but I've got some suggestions on how you should deal with your current P.R. problem.

First, you absolutely must ignore the so-called P.R. pros. They'll want you to pick a major media event and confess all your sins, beg for forgiveness, cry and generally act like a slobbering fool.
Instead, you act like a man.

1. Give Elin the divorce. You're not going to get custody of the kids, but cut the best deal you can regarding visitation. Visit your kids often. Nothing is more important than being a father to your kids.

2. Cut your losses. Offer Elin a huge chunk of cash regardless of what your prenup says. If you don't, she'll stretch out the misery for years, fuck with your chi, and bleed you dry in attorney's fees.

3. Stay out of the press until the week of your first golf tourney next year. No interviews. No crying jags on Oprah. No "I'm scum" confessions to Barbara Walters.

4. Tell your sponsors what your strategy is. A divorce as quick and painless as possible. No counter accusations. No putting the blame on Elin. No b.s. excuses like you're a sex addict, or she just didn't understand you, or the pressure of being "me" was just too much.

5. Practice, practice, practice.

6. Now, this is the big one. The week of your first major tourney in 2010, here's what you say.
"I made some very serious mistakes. Those mistakes cost me my marriage, my ability to spend time with my kids and a butt-load of sponsor cash. I've paid the price for my mistakes. It's over. Now, it's all personal. I won't talk about it in public ever again.
I'm going to continue playing professional golf. I love it. It's how I make my living. It is who I AM. I've asked forgiveness from God. I won't ask for forgiveness from the press, the fans, or anyone else. When my kids are older, I'll explain myself as best I can, tell them I love them, and pray to God they keep on loving me.
I'm a man. Nothing more...nothing less. I'm dealing with deal with it.

I'll see you at the first tee at The Masters...and I'm still Tiger."

ps. You better mean it. You won't get another chance, so don't blow it.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Deuce Laments

You ever feel like giving up? I mean, giving up on America; giving up on trying to keep America the kind of country you grew up in. I don't need all the psychological pain--who does? I don't need the anger, the never-ending astonishment at what is coming out of Washington. The whorishness of the Obama media. The disillusionment of knowing deep down that for whatever reasons a majority of Americans think communism is the best way to go. That's what we're doing you know? Not liberalism, or progressivism, or's flat out no bullshit communism. The financial sector goes first, then the automotive sector, soon to be followed by health care, energy and the military. Big brother?

This is way beyond Big Brother. This is a politburo ( czars ) putting out endless five year plans designed to make us all equal, meaning poor peasants dependent on the local Duke for his life giving largess; mandated gas mileage targets for new cars so no one can own an SUV or other chariot of affluence that assaults the sensitivities of the green weenies; control of CEO salaries to cut down the number of yachts and thus limit the carbon footprint of the pleasure boating industry and preserve the self esteem of the boatless; outlawing incandescent light bulbs and replacing them with the energy efficient and long lasting florescent bulbs that won't fit in your lamp fixtures and put out the light equivalent to a 6th century candle; funding corrupt organizations and labor unions like ACORN and SEIU so they can use taxpayer money to proselytize for the communist cause and find more dead people to register to vote; spending our cash like it's all Monopoly money to weaken the dollar and push for a new "global currency" ( workers of the world unite! ) because the American dollar is naught but a tool of capitalist greed; working to "give" taxpayer dollars to developing nations ( third world shit holes being raped by ruthless killer dictators ) with "Climate Change" initiatives as payback for Western Civilization "dominating" said shit holes by introducing modern medicine, the rule of law, and other assorted alien technology, like roads and flush toilets; sapping the morale of our military by giving them impossible missions with impossible deadlines and impossible rules of engagement, because the military is the ultimate tool of Western Imperialism, while at the same time granting constitutional rights to throat-cutting barbarians held in Gitmo by putting them on trial in civilian courts as if they were your run of the mill convenience store stick up men.

Alice In Wonderland? The Matrix? Dante's seventh ring of Hell? Timothy Leary's best acid trip? The Reverend Wright's ultimate wet dream? Pick your nightmare.

All of this in less than a year. Obama has another three years to go. What do you want to bet that come 2012 there will be some momentous emergency that prevents the scheduled presidential election? Perhaps the election will be put on hold while we see if the Mayan prediction of the end of the world actually happens. Maybe a giant asteroid will be detected just six months out from colliding with Earth. Maybe the black messiah manifests himself in Obama's morning bowl of Count Chocula.

I would give up, except for one thing...there's nowhere else to go. There's no frontier, no undiscovered country, no new world. I'm not able to emigrate to Barsoom or Ring World or Middle Earth. I'm stuck in this world...and if America becomes just another failed experiment in freedom, I'll be dead...because I refuse to be a peasant, or a subject, or a slave.

If this continues, there will be blood shed.

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. ... God forbid we should ever be twenty years without such a rebellion; what country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms." -- Thomas Jefferson to William Stephens Smith, 1787

Does America still "preserve the spirit of resistance?"

We'll see.