Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Deuce Ponders III

Who are the men in the above image?

1. Applicants for one of the 100 Czar positions available at the White House.

2. AIG employees lining up for their bonus payments.

3. Mortgage applicants at Fannie May.

4. All the judges better qualified than Sonia Sotomayor for Supreme Court Justice.

5. Former GM employees lining up for unemployment checks.

6. Former Chrysler employees lining up for unemployment checks.

7. Men fleeing rising sea levels caused by global warming/climate change/a cloudy day.

8. Members of the new public option health care plan waiting to see a doctor/nurse/commissar.

10. Guys at the Greyhound Bus Terminal buying tickets to get out of California.

Correct Answer: That's all of us in 2012.

What's the first thing you think of when you see the above image?

1. Progress? Towards what? Chaos?

2. Andy Warhol would have been a better choice.

3. What's wrong with his neck? His chin is always up in the air. Reminds me of Mussolini.

4. From unknown senator to president in three years? Community organizer, here I come!

5. When does he speak at the U.N. and smack his shoe on the lectern?

6. Uhhhhhhh, blah blah blah ( media applause ), Uhhhhhhh, blah blah blah ( media applause ).

7. Thank God I bought that stock in Teleprompter Inc.

8. Why can't my wife spend all her time in the vegetable garden like Michelle.

9. I don't get it...Chris Mathews gets a thrill up his leg and all I get is a pain in my ass.

10. That looks as authentic as the birth certificate he posted.
Correct Answer: I gotta learn to hypnotize people like this guy!

If you saw the thing pictured above walking down the street, what would be your most appropriate response?

1. Call the White House and tell them that there's an escapee from Area 51 running loose.

2. Call Wringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus and say, "Boy, have I got an act for you."

3. Thank God you're not the TSA dude that has to get this thing through the metal detector.

4. Call your daughter and thank her for marrying that biker that deals meth.

5. Call your disappointment of a son and tell him how proud you are of him.

6. Tell him, "I agree, that whole hepatitis thing is just fear mongering."

7. Join the stampede of hysterical pedestrians fleeing for their lives.

8. Tell the thing not to waste his money joining

9. Ask him, "What channel is your reality show on? I gotta see that!"

10. Shoot first, ask questions later.
Correct Answer: Hey, there goes Obama's new Czar of Self Esteem!

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