Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Deuce Doesn't Do Egypt

I'm having a hard time taking the turmoil in Egypt too seriously. Why not? Well, I can't do anything about it, and neither can the U.S. Seriously, if the U.S. wants to somehow influence the political scene in Cairo how the hell are we going to do it? We'd need real tough guys who know how to talk to third world dictators and the Muslim Brotherhood. Instead of tough guys who understand the real world, we've got Obama and Hillary Clinton. The Kumbaya twins. Ewwwwww! Scary! So, it seems to me this is a 'let the chips fall where they may' moment in history. That being the case, let's look at the humorous side of it all.

Prince said it best. "Riot like it's 799." The Bangles are a close second with their hit, "Riot Like An E-gyp-tian."

This has got to be a first. Camels in a riot. In the 21st century. Don't tell me you didn't bust out laughing when you first saw the video. I mean the U.S. military and law enforcement agencies have spent tens of millions of dollars trying to develop better non-lethal means of breaking up riots, when all the time the Egyptians had the perfect technology. "Allah save us! It's S.W.A.C! (special whips and camels).

Certainly the preferred methods of rioting vary around the world. In the U.S. the permanently deprived like trashing store fronts, looting, arson, overturning cars, taking shots at cops and beating innocent bystanders. In France, burning cars is all the rage. In India you can always count on an elephant to make a grand entrance or a Buddhist monk to immolate himself because the world is such a terrible place burning yourself to death seems the perfect answer and will turn the whole wide world into Shangra-La.

But in Egypt they like to relive the glory of the pharaohs and whip out some camel action. It must be hard on a people to know they're culture has been going down hill for four thousand years. I mean, what do they tell their kids to give them hope of a better tomorrow? "Don't worry son, it's just an isolated incident. The infidels can't last forever. Come on. Let's go see King Tut."

Don't get me wrong. I always wanted to visit Egypt; see the pyramids and King Tut and maybe even ride a camel. I hope they find a way to work out their problems and become stable and prosperous...just as long as they don't turn into a haven for every whack-job radical Islamist trying to give birth to the Twelfth Imam when they're not too busy hating Jews and America.

That would not be humorous.

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