Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Deuce and Spin

Comments heard around America regarding the event captured in the above photo:

President Obama: "I don't know all the facts, but clearly the police acted stupidly."

MSNBC commentator Chris Mathews: "Yet another example of Teabagger violence. When will we be free of this terrible scourge?"

The Reverend Al Sharpton: "Yet another example of a black man forced to defend himself against white racism. You see that Confederate flag tattooed on the kid, right? Come on! It's right there! Stevie Wonder could see it!"

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs: "Uh...the cop was a black guy? In that case, uh...the President, uh...would like to add, his initial remarks, uh...that he was, uh...unaware the cop, uh...was a black man, and now, uh...that he has been, uh...informed of this, uh...fact, clearly the cop, uh...a fine example of, uh...a black man, know, uh...was forced to take, uh...the appropriate steps to, uh...control the situation. We inherited this racial violence from the previous administration."

The Reverend Jeremiah Wright: "Bust a cap in whitey's ass! It says it in the Bible!"

Former Vice President Al Gore: "Glaciers melt and polar bears drown under a hazy winter sky...anybody got any carbon credits? I'm like 9000 tons over my allotment for this month. Is this mic open?"

Former President Bill Clinton: "I don't comment for less than six figures. Hey honey! I used to be the president. Looking for a good time? Hillary's out of town."

Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano: "I told you white men are a bigger threat to national security than Islamic, I mean violent extremists of no particular ethnic or religious background."

Congressman Barney Frank: "This kind of thing wouldn't happen if those evil bastards on Wall Street weren't foreclosing on everyone...and Freddy and Fannie are still financially healthy regardless of what you may have heard. S&M party tonight at my place!"

Vice President Joe Biden: "I'd have to say that cop looks to be clean and well spoken...and I bet he doesn't speak with a negro dialect. I'm on his side. By the way, did I tell you guys I now know why the vice presidency was once described as not worth a warm bucket of spit?"

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi: "I've just introduced a bill in congress to address this very issue. It's 3000 pages long...that means it's good for America's working families, deficit neutral and fully transparent. Where's my botox?

Host of The View and comedienne Whoopi Goldberg: "That kid got over the fence! You see what I mean? No matter how high you build the fence these young bucks are going to find a way over it. Amnesty is the only viable answer...whatda ya mean he's not hispanic? Italian? Oy! These ethnic types all look alike!"

World renowned blogger The Deuce: "I haven't seen an 'electric slide' like that since my clubbing days. Beautiful!

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