The New Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition

It's in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You're a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It's that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors.

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodeisel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again -- with a vengeance.

We've subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you'll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that's a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn't skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you'll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

But the changes don't stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM's Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes -- even in the choppy waters of Cape Cod inlet.

Available in a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you'll never miss a segment of NPR again.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit 's famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don't own one, you can enjoy the patriotic satisfaction that you're supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making the American car industry the envy of the world.But why not buy one anyway? With an MSRP starting at only $629,999.99, it's affordable too. Don't forge t to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay financing programs from Fanny Mae.So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you'd choose it over the import brands. Even if they were still legal.

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In the interest of full disclosure, neither The Deuce nor Mr. Quarter is the author of this post.

What Were They Thinking?

Mr. Quarter is annoyed that the MSM is in full throated hue and cry over the Israeli assault on Gaza, once again putting their anti-Israeli bias on display. If you pick up a newspaper, you would think that the Israeli government launched an unjust aggression against the poor defenseless Gazans, who were only trying to grow lettuce and olives. I mean, who can really fault the poor Gazans? They needed to blow off some steam on a slow Saturday night (you can't really have a beer), so they opened the garage and wheeled out a couple of the the surface-to -surface missile that Ahmed built from a plans he saw in Boys Life magazine. A couple of Allah Akbar's later and 3 acres of spinach outside Ashkalon is a smoking scrap metal market and a tractor is sitting on 4 flats. Talk about being sensitive, is this all it takes to piss off the Israelis? I mean come on, a little harmless fun and their conflating it completely out of proportion.

What no one seems to be willing to say is that the Hamas rank and file in particular and, perhaps, Gazans in particular have to be brain dead. Clear and lucid thinking does not drive you to taunt and irritate a bigger and more powerful adversary only to be destroyed. It is crazy to believe that because every last one of you is not dead, you can claim to have won a victory.

Clear warnings were given, "Stop the missiles or we will kick your ass." The Gazans must have been thinking that the Israelis were kidding or something. The Israeli's said again , "No really, stop it or we are going to kick your ass." Yeah right, "Hamid, open the closet and get that missile I was working on."

So the Israelis did exactly what they said they would do, and the Israeli government is fully justified in their actions. And they should keep on bringing the lumber until Hamas is destroyed or capitulates. But, the MSM would have us believe that it is a "Holocaust"

The facts on the ground speak of a far different truth than the "crisis" that the MSM would have us believe has befallen the people of Gaza. There are 1.5 million Gazans. Recent reports indicate that about 800 Gazans have been killed, and three times that number wounded. Reports also indicate that 2/3 of the fatalities and causalities are Hamas. By any measure it would appear the the marksmanship of the Israeli Army is outstanding.

The fact is that the Hamas charter makes the group inherently incapable of making peace with Israel. Their foundation document says without ambiguity that they will never live next to or tolerate the existence of a "Zionist entity". End of discussion.

There is really only two ways to make a lasting peace between the Palestinians and the Israelis. Either the Palestinians adopt a life style of live and let live, and wise up to understand that they can have a pretty good life if they leave the Israelis alone. They don't have to like them, just leave them alone. The Israelis don't want Gaza and could care less about the Gazans. Or the Palestinians can keep on taunting and irritating a bigger and more powerful adversary, keep on having their asses kicked, and never advance beyond the status of a 3rd world feudal state. The choice is really theirs to make.

No Wonder We are Swirling Around the Bowl

The Bank of England cut its interest rates to their lowest level in 315 years in an attempt to stimulate the economy of the UK. According to this bit of breaking news, the bank’s nine-member monetary policy committee said the world economy "appears to be undergoing an unusually sharp and synchronized downturn." ...Huh? Let Mr. Quarter break this bit of insight down: In the last 12 months, the US stock market has fallen 40% while the US government federal deficit for 2009 is projected at $1.3 trillion, China's GDP growth has been almost halved, and the housing market in the UK has essentially collapsed. So the nine-members of the Bank of England monetary policy committee concluded that the world economy only, "appears to be undergoing an unusually sharp and synchronized downturn?" What exactly are the other alternative conclusions that could be drawn? Are they saying that we are looking at the data and, well, it could be something else like unrestrained prosperty, but it appears to be a downturn. Jesus wept.

The Deuce and the Bushmen

Two African Bushmen are squating on a boulder in the middle of the Kalahari Desert watching the sun set and communing with the universe. Neither says a word. Finally the sun drops below the infinite horizon in a glorious explosion of color and the stars begin to come out. The two bushmen gaze at the startling beauty of the Milky Way and each in his own way ponders the meaning of life and his place in the Great Spirit's plan for humanity. The calm of the early evening in the desert is disturbed only by a gentle breeze.

Bushmen #1: Did you hear that TV is going digital?
Bushmen #2: Only about a million times. Everywhere I go that's all anyone is talking about.

Dusk deepens into night and the moon rises in the eastern sky, full and yellow and impossibly huge. With the fullness of night comes the sounds of the nocturnal desert dwellers, hunting and being hunted; searching for mates; locked in the daily struggle to survive and to procreate their species. It's a scene as old as the Earth.

Bushmen #2: What the hell is TV any way?

The Deuce and 2009

Since my past New Year's resolutions of the "I will" variety don't normally pan out, I thought this year I would try a different tack. For 2009 my resolutions will be of the "I won't" variety.

This year I've chosen to work on my anger issues.

I won't allow my anger to explode into a galactic super nova when TV gives me;

some mush-head in the MSM ( main stream media) uses the word crisis to describe every story presented in that particular half hour news cycle. The financial crisis story is followed by the climate crisis story which is followed by the Israeli vs. Palestinian crisis story. We catch our breath during a two minute commercial break, which I spend pouring a large vodka rocks with a twist with which to fight off my impending depression over all these damn crisis', and then the crisis avalanche continues. The AIDS crisis in Africa story and then the piracy crisis story followed yet by the California budget crisis. Now my vodka isn't working so I top it off with two quick Sam Adams lagers. Now it's time for the last story of the the half hour, usually a feel good story to end the broadcast on a high note...

and its the ubiquitous panda story! Yes, the Chicoms ( Chinese Communists) latest five year plan for the bamboo harvest has failed again and some of their slower pandas are starving. So, the Chicoms kill two birds with one stone; they thin the panda herd by giving ( leasing really, but lets not be mean) two pandas to some American zoo. This leaves more bamboo for their remaining pandas while simultaneously reminding all of America of how charitable the Chicoms are by "sharing" their most precious natural resource ( not counting a billion peasants who work for food scraps rejected by starving Ethiopians ). The breathless reporter tells us that the pandas are named Wang-Wang and Poo-Poo, which translated into English is Up Yours American Scum and Your Ancestors Are Fertilizer. Alcohol is not working...where'd I put my morphine? Oh look, it's time for the local news, which leads off with the...

gang crisis! That's one too many crisis' for me and I feel a super nova coming on so I change the channel looking for something more entertaining with which to calm my nerves, which leads me to...

Late night TV. I've got satellite TV which means 250 channels of rip roaring good times 24 hours a day. Let's see what I have to choose from tonight...

...at least 100 channels of paid programming?! Great! Half hour commercials pitching everything from the latest magical exercise machine that will give you abs of steel with just one five minute workout a month, to the latest magical pill that will melt the fat right off your body without the least bit of exertion on your part, ever. We've got over the counter boner pills, Alzheimer cures, hair replacement creams, hair removal systems, finger tip vibrators for that someone special ( yourself), nail fungus treatments and acne cures. More alcohol please. But there's got to be something worthwhile on. Then I find...

...Make Money Scams! EBay, real estate, drop shipping, day trading, gold investing, commodity futures, social security and workman's comp rip offs ( thinly veiled) and "If you've ever been exposed to," or "if you've ever operated this equipment" law suit scams. They're everywhere!

I'll try HBO. Oh good. Not one movie that's under a year old. Original programming from last year too! Oh but don't worry, HBO's got new episodes of all my favorites coming out in March! Won't we all be dead from climate change by March? Now I need really high octane alcohol. I go out to my bomb shelter and break out a fifth of white lightening...distilled by my cousin who lives in a trailer down by the river ( the trailer is just to throw off the revenuers, he nets $150K a year).

History Channel? Any good war footage, police shootouts, riots at the Japanese congress, Best of Soccer Hooligans or WWII dog fights? Uh, not tonight. Tonight it's "Modern Marvels; Corn Snacks!" Then, "Modern Marvels; Plumbing!", followed by the award winning "Modern Marvels; The History of Toilet Paper And Other Household Paper Products!" The White Lightening is burning my tongue down to a small chip of coal, but I force it down. No more super novas from me. I'm in control.

MTV? First up is "Room Raiders." Described as people selecting dates by inspecting rooms. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up. Oh, it gets even better. I've stumbled upon a "Room Raiders" marathon...eight riveting episodes in a row! Boy, I don't need any of those boner pills I saw advertised earlier now!

AMC? Movie, "The Magnificent Seven." Seen it like 50 times...and it's not even that good. It's also from 1960. 48 years old. Makes me feel like a geezer.

TCM? Movie, "Heaven's Gate." Saw it once years ago. BORING! So boring coma patients complained.

FX? "Hair Club For Men and Women." On FX? Is going bald really a crisis of this magnitude?

TNT? Series, "Without A Trace." Veteran tough guy FBI dude rides heard over younger metro sexual male agents and gender-feminist female agents...that are always screwing each other right after finding the body of some guy that's been missing for three months and decomposing in the trunk of a car. Nothing like decomp to get the sexual juices flowing!

TBS? Movie, "Richie Rich." Oh please. Richie Rich just went bankrupt after being defrauded by that Bernie Madoff sleaze.

SPIKE? Series, "Star Trek; Deep Space Nine." Love Quark and his rules of acquisition, but seen this episode. ( if Odo is a real shape shifter, why does he choose such a dull looking sissy body? Would it really take that much more energy to strut around built like Conan the Barbarian?).

DISCOVERY CHANNEL? "Storm Chasers". I live in the Mid-West. I'm too smart to chase tornadoes. Although it is kind of funny to listen to the chasers. They sound like Samuel L. Jackson, all cool and fearless and tossing around the storm chaser version of mother fucker, "Oh Geez," when the tornado is going away, then the tornado changes direction and starts coming toward them and suddenly they sound like baby seals about to be clubbed.

I won't even mention the shopping channels and the preacher channels. I'm not senile yet.

My white lightening is almost gone. I haven't gone super nova. My New Year's resolution has worked for one night. The Deuce is victorious.

Happy New Year America!

Better Late Than Never

Since the Deuce introduced himself with a lengthy inaugural blog, I thought I might as well do the same. I too am a Caucasian Anglo-Saxon Protestant, born and raised in a rural community in the middle of America. In fact, the geographical center of the nation is probably less than two hours by car from my hometown. I come from a place where it would be unusual not to own a gun, where being proud of America is a part of your DNA, and where willingness to die for freedom is a given. Its a place where folks bitch and complain about the government and politicians, but no one doubts that the United States is the greatest nation on this earth and no one apologizes for that fact.

I was raised on a large farm where we made our living raising corn, soybeans, cattle and hogs. Every day but Sunday was a work day, and sometimes Sunday was a work day. I started working on the farm, helping my father when I was 9 years old. At that age, I fed and watered the livestock ("doin' chores" in the local vernacular), and did assorted odd tasks. At 9, I was too young to operate the machines for raising crops, but in the summer before the advent of selective herbicides like "Roundup", the final act of cultivation was to walk down the rows of soybeans and physically cut the weeds from the rows using a machete-like tool called a "cornknife". I was too small at 9 to hold a cornknife, so my father had me using a large butcher knife for the job! By the time I was 14-15 years old, I was doing a man's work on weekends and in the evenings during the school year and full-days during the summer. Those experiences taught me much about responsibility, perseverance, work ethics, thinking independently and initiative.

Lest you think it was a totally idyllic existence, and it really was almost idyllic, it was often hard going. My father scratched a living out of the land, and many years after selling his crop and paying his bills, he had to borrow money from the bank to pay taxes and purchase the supplies for the coming year. My birthday being in late summer was often a time when there simply was no money left. My mother always raised a huge vegetable garden, and canned fruit and vegetables all summer, putting up literally hundreds of quarts of green beans, corn, tomatoes, pickles, and all manner of jelly. Every year, we would have a beef and a hog butchered. It was always a big day to go and retrieve the cut meat, wrapped and frozen, and bring it home to absolutely fill a big chest freezer to the brim. We even had an underground root cellar ("the cave" as we referred to it) with a potato bin. We would grow and gather several hundred pounds of potatoes that were stored in the cave. This is what we ate and how we lived because there was simply not much money.

Given this background, I hope that it helps the reader to understand as I itemize (as the Deuce did) some things about my self and what I believe:

• I hold a masters degree in engineering geology and a bachelors degree in geology.
• I believe that the USA is the greatest nation that has ever existed. I always feel an emotional lump of pride in my throat when I hear the line from the Star Spangled Banner, "the land of the free and the home of the brave."
• I hate the manner of personal interpretation in singing the national anthem to open sporting events that is fashionable now. There is only one way to sing that anthem. Period.
• I believe in personal honor and personal integrity, no matter what the cost. If you compromise your honor or your integrity you have nothing, no matter what your wealth.
• I believe in personal loyalty, no matter what the cost. You can give no greater gift to a friend, family, or institution than your personal loyalty.
• I believe that betrayal of your personal loyalty by someone to whom you have given it is unforgivable.
• I believe that family is the highest calling. I have been divorced twice and these are the greatest and most painful failures of my life.
• I believe in the right to keep arms and bear arms on my person. I exercise this right daily with the affirmation of a permit issued by the state.
• I believe that every person must accept responsibility for their actions, their situation, and their destiny. I believe that there are few true victims.
• I believe that charity is most meaningful when it is in the form of a personal service. Simply donating money dilutes the experience.
• I believe that moral relativism is a weakness in character. We all know or should know what is right and what is wrong.
• I personally believe that abortion is wrong. I also believe that is is not the function of the government to legislate or adjudicate morality, but rather the duty of the citizens of the nation to determine what is morally acceptable in their communities. The right to abortions should be decided by the citizens of the individual states by ballot.
• I am well read on the subject of religion, the existence of God, the life of Jesus, the canonical books of the New Testament, and 2nd century Christianity.
• I believe that Paul of Tarsus was principally responsible for the rise and spread of Christianity - even though he never met Jesus nor when he returned to Jerusalem (so far as we know) visited any of the places of Jesus betrayal, cruxification, or resurrection.
• I believe that in at least 40,000 years of human (homo sapien) existence, the thought that we stumbled onto the one true God in the last 5000, or last 2000, or last 700 years is absurd.
• I believe that the order of the universe is too profound to be a matter of chance.
• I believe in UFOs, really.

I am looking forward to continuing to blog along side The Deuce. Enjoy, comment, or disparage.

Introducing...The Deuce

Ever get the feeling that America is circling the drain? Do you watch the news on the MSM ( main stream media) and ask yourself, "When did my country drop to the level of a Third World banana republic?" Inundated by crooked politicians, greedy bankers, PC disciples, Eco fascists, metro sexual pretend men and the women who want to be like them, and Euro-Socialist wanna be's, it's a wonder the good 'ol U. S. of A. is still here.

I am The Deuce. Greetings! Let me introduce myself.

I'm unapologetically a Heterosexual Man.
I am descended from a Scotsman that came to America as an indentured servant in 1695.
I am an only child.
I'm old enough to remember Vietnam and Watergate.
I was once married and I have fathered and helped raise two children.
I spent six years in the United States Army.
I spent two years as a reserve police officer.
I was a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party for over twenty years, ending in 2001.
I have a BS in Political Science.
I read, on average, sixty books a year (65% fiction, 35% non-fiction).
I currently live in the Mid West, but have also lived in Texas, Arizona, Idaho and Georgia.
I am the first male of my line in nine generations not born in the South.
I've spent the last fifteen years working for two Fortune 500 companies (and hated most of it).
I've never voted for a Democrat in my life...though Senator James Webb ( D-VA) is tempting.
I believe in God and that Jesus Christ was the son of God and died for all our sins.
I'm incredibly pissed off.
I think God is too.

You get the gist. You could stereotype me as "the angry White man", and you wouldn't be far off, except I like Broadway musicals almost as much as football and hockey, and I'm more at home in a library than I am an auto parts store. I am not much of a NASCAR fan, but Lynard Skynard kicks ass! I don't particularly like grits, but the Second Amendment is my favorite because it makes all the other amendments possible.

This blog belongs to a very good friend of mine. When I bitched to him that his posting schedule wasn't making me happy and suggested he let me post here from time to time, he was gentleman enough to say "go for it." So I am. Thanks bud. I promise the FBI will not visit your home because of anything I say here, but if they do, feel free to rat me out. I'll take my own heat.

As I was saying, circling the drain. That's us. We have elected the first avowed Marxist in the history of the U.S. as President of the United States. Oh, he won't claim that title now. It wouldn't be prudent. However, in his two autobiographies, he spells it out in black and white. Add to his words his career as a "community organizer", and his world view is clear; socialism is the bomb ( Obama's pal Bill Ayers can attest to that); America is White, and that makes it Evil (Obama's "spiritual counselor" the good Reverend Jeremiah Wright has preached that for some twenty years...it's called Liberation Theology); America is Christian, which means it is intolerant and racist; America is imperialist, meaning it oppresses other countries, particularly those that are not White and not Christian.

I am not a black man. I can not walk a foot in Obama's shoes, much less a mile. I can not feel the sting of slavery, oppression and Jim Crow as sharply as he can ( please note that Obama's parents are not descended from American slaves), though if we are willing to go back far enough in history we all have ancestors who were slaves.

But neither can Obama walk a foot in my shoes as a white man. He can not feel the sting of being accused of being a racist when I'm not; he can not feel my anger when I see the daily devolving of inner city America; he can not feel my anger when Whites are demonized and described as a "cancer" on the world that must be eradicated.

Obama promises change. That's not a hard promise to keep. The world is always changing, slowly but surely. But, the change Obama promises is not the change we need. How many times must Socialism fail around the world before American leftists break the code? Call it what you like; Communism, Socialism, Liberalism or Progressivism, it all means the same thing...an omnipotent central government taking money from people who have it and giving it to people who don't. Redistribute the wealth of a nation to turn equality of opportunity into equality of results. Social Justice. Nobodies too rich, and nobodies too poor. We're all the same.

There's just one problem. We're not all the same, and no amount of government manipulation of the tax laws or the economy or public education will make us so. There will always be rich and poor, capital and labor, owners and workers. There will always be those of us who generally make wise decisions or poor ones, who save for the future or live for the moment, who live within our means or don't, who believe in honor, honesty and integrity or "it's every man for himself and anything goes," who believe in voluntary charity and not the forced redistribution of wealth.

Obama's "change" denies a basic truth of humanity, and that is why Obama and his "change" will ultimately fail. Let us hope that the failure does not destroy America.

May God have mercy on us.